The second portion of this assignment is a two step process.
1.) Review your two paragraphs noting each of the places you used any of the tools in the Writer's Toolbox. Try to find at least two examples of each of the tools from the Writer's Toolbox employed in each descriptions (except for tell sentences and direct statements of meaning, which you should have limited to only one per paragraph). If you can’t find two examples of the other features in each of your descriptions, you’ll probably want to revise your initial description, adding more of those features.
2.) Write your rhetorical analysis, devoting at least one paragraph to each of the tools in the Writer's Toolbox. You will probably want to begin each paragraph of the rhetorical analysis with a general claim. “I used a great deal of word choice in each of my two descriptions.” Then you’ll want to follow that claim with examples. “For instance, in my positive paragraph, I described the sun as “gleaming,” which implies that the light was pleasantly bright. However, in my negative paragraph, I described the sun as “glaring,” implying that the light was too bright, and in fact painful to look at.”
Rhetorical Analysis
I chose Pillsbury Crossing for my descriptions in this paper. I enjoyed writing about Pillsbury Crossing because it seemed to offer many positive and negatives, and I had never been there before. This allowed me to record my own first impressions, both pleasant and unpleasant. The floodplain is very peaceful, yet it is scarred by humankind’s misuse of the nature park.
I wrote my first sentence as an overt statement which explained the mood of the rest of the paragraph. For my pleasant impression, I stated “Nature’s beauty surrounds me,” emphasizing the beauty on can find in a place such as this. In contrast, for my negative impression, I wrote “Death has had her way here.” The notion of death immediately makes the tone grim and unpleasant, even though death is also a fundamental aspect of the natural world.
With my tone clearly established, I next had to consider my word choice very carefully. In order to show the reader what I experienced, I had to choose words that fit the mood of the description as set by my overt statements of meaning. In my pleasant description, I discuss the sun’s rays and how they are “crisp” and “relieving.” These words make the sun’s rays seem pleasant and positive; however, in the negative description, the sun’s rays were “hazardous.” This description emphasizes the fact that the sun’s rays can be harmful and dangerous. I also describe the leaves in both paragraphs. While the leaves were colorful, reflecting “green, yellow, and brown hues” in my positive description, they were “withering” and falling to the ground to create a leaf “cemetery” in my negative description. This helps maintain the mood of each of my respective paragraphs.
I also left out details from certain paragraphs to keep the mood and tone consistent. In my pleasant description, I omitted the observation of garbage “decaying to the roots of hungry plants.” I did not include the garbage in my pleasant paragraph because it did not fit into my description of the gorgeous scenery. If I had included the garbage and trash in the positive paragraph, the reader would picture a nice place filled with a bunch of filthy waste. This is not what I wanted. In the unpleasant impression, I left out how the bugs whistled and chanted. By simple describing them as “swarming” and omitting the beauty of their sounds, the bugs seem to be only an annoyance in the negative paragraph.
Similes and metaphors were helpful as well, allowing me to create an impression that nature was either alive and comforting or dead and disturbing. In the pleasant description, I wanted the impression to be welcoming and lively, so I wrote “the wind bristles the leaves as if they were applauding the breath of the land.” I wanted to make Mother Nature have a personality. By using similes like “symphony of nature,” it gives Mother Nature a graceful, caring attitude, which makes the description seem more pleasant. In the negative paragraph, I compare thunder to a cannon, “echoing off the hills of the horizon.” This portrays thunder as a menacing force, roaring through the landscape, making Mother Nature seem mean, stingy, and threatening.
Please be sure to review the Submitting Your Assignment of Unit #4 section for specific instructions on how you should turn in your work for grading. The Point of View Essay with all required sections is due at the end of Unit #4.
NOTE THERE IS ONE ASSIGNMENT THAT CONSISTS OF TWO PARAGRAPHS AND THIS NEXT PASSAGE TELLS YOU HOW TO WRITE THE POINT OF VIEW ESSAY!!!!! WITH EXAMPLES AND HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE AND COMPLETED.
You will have two tasks this unit:
1.) Complete the last portion of the Point of View Paper.
2.) Get feedback on your complete draft of Point of View Paper from an outside reader.
First, you'll need to finish the assignment.
The last portion of this assignment is simple. Reflect on what you’ve done. Why does any of this matter? How do these tools relate to other writing you’ve done, other writing you’ve read, etc.? How does (or how will) any of this apply to you?
Here’s a student example of the last portion of this assignment. (Again, this is the same student who focused on Pillsbury Crossing in his positive and negative descriptions, and whose rhetorical analysis was included above.)
Reflection
While writing this assignment, I noticed that while we observe things everyday, choosing the right words to describe and observation is difficult and important. While walking in the park the other day, I noticed how the wind picked up, and I tried to think about how I would describe it. I realized that my descriptions would differ, depending on whether I was in a pleasant or unpleasant mood. I also noticed how choice of words can influence a reader’s perceptions. For example, I’ve recently read several articles on the home-run race. One author reported that Sammy Sosa was beating Mark McGwire, but another focused on Mark McGwire, writing that he was ahead of last year’s pace, so he wasn’t technically “losing” the home-run race. Presentation of facts and phrasing of observations can be vital to crafting a good story that grabs the reader’s attention; it can also sway the reader’s opinions in many ways.
Second, I strongly recommend you get some feedback on your complete draft.
In this unit, you will want to revise your own work to the best possible quality. I strongly recommend that in addition to reviewing your work yourself, you find yourself an outside reader—someone who will read your work and offer you suggestions for revisions.
* You can find someone on your own to read your work (ie. your spouse, one of your kids, a friend, a neighbor).
* You can sign up for the Peer Review Option by emailing me. (I’ll set up an email list, so that you and 2-3 of your classmates can email each other your drafts and get feedback.)
Here are some questions you’ll want to keep in mind when revising your Perspective Paper.
The Two Descriptions
1.) Do the two descriptions offer contrasting impressions of your place, without changing the facts?
2.) Do each of the descriptions incorporate all of the tools of the Writer’s Toolbox? Are each of these rhetorical tools used to their fullest advantage?
3.) Are both descriptions well-organized, and easy to follow?
The Rhetorical Analysis
1.) Are each of the five rhetorical tools discussed?
2.) Does each paragraph follow the claim-support structure, making a general claim that clarifies the feature to be discuss, and then offering examples of how the feature was used and to what effect? Do these examples seem adequate and appropriate?
3.) Are transitions used to move the reader from paragraph to paragraph?
The Reflection
1.) Is the reflection at least one paragraph long, using appropriate transitions to move us from idea to idea?
2.) Does the reflection offer a sense of why/how the concepts of this assignment matter, beyond the classroom setting?
Please be sure to review the Submitting Your Assignment of Unit #4 section for specific instructions on how you should turn in your work for grading. The Point of View Essay with all required sections is due at the end of Unit #4.
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